I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
