You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize