Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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