I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
