He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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