I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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