well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
