Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize