Sponge bath it is.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
