Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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