belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"