I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
