How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize