And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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