took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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