actually, I'm a sock model
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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