Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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