No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
