Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
