I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
