sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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