Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
