I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
