literally had 100 drinks last night.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
