shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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