Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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