Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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