Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
