haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
