literally had 100 drinks last night.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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