I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just want nice things and good sex
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize