I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
