she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
