The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
