Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
