i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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