You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
