There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
