He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
