dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize