If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
