Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
