i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
