Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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