I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
