He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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