We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
