I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
