You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
