i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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