its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
