i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
