I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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