I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
