no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
