I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
