she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
These tits shall not be calmed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
