We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
